Things are never gonna be the same again

Just a while ago, I received a text SMS from my cousin in Indonesia. Suddenly, I remembered those wonderful times we had in my dad's homeland. Every year, we would go visit my grandma and aunts there during the fasting month of Ramadhan. We would eat sahur together, and break our fast together, and in between, we would explore different places, go shopping, and best of all, spend hours just sitting somewhere and chat, chat, chat. Here in Singapore, time seems to pass by real quickly, everything seems to move so fast. But over there, it's very relaxed. My dad, especially, would be the happiest. After all, that is the place he was born, the place where his father was buried and his mother and siblings still live to this very day. I still remember how he used to shine everytime we 'go back' there. My dad, the person who , many years ago, introduced me to a land foreign to me but home to him. That land is no longer foreign to me now; it feels like home too. As I replied my cousin's text SMS and told her that we would not be going there this year, my eyes filled with tears. I wonder when we would have the strength to visit them again, to be in a place with so many memories. I miss being there, with my dad's family. I miss my dad. Things are never gonna be the same again. Ever.