Who's a lunatic?
Anyone who has read my old blog entries would have probably known how melancholic I could get at times. Poetic, some people say. I, however, think I'm just crazy. Not in the actual sense of the word of course, but rather crazy in a way that only people like me would understand; people whose crazy jokes I laugh at; people who walk and sing in the rain; people who could knock on meeting room doors and run/walk away as if nothing happened...you know, just stuff like that. Crazy.
I've been wanting to blog about a HELLA lotta things, but of course I have been too busy with something we all love to have but hate to do - Work.
My one-month vacation is over and I am back to join Singapore's workforce, contributing to our growing economy and the economy of my own home. I have to work for 6 days now instead of 5, I no longer have a 'lunch hour' because my lunchtime is definitely much less than an hour. They had me transferred to another office which is a FREAKING LONG WAY from home because they somehow needed a staff urgently. I am pissed! I admit, I have been thinking of letting this job go but at the same time this happens to be my highest-paying job to date, and my husband, who is working in the same industry, says it would be good if I could have this job to kick-start a new career.
Men. There are some things they simply DON'T understand. Like how a mother wants to spend more time with her son and how the son wants the mother to be around most times. Isn't it SAD that we have to spend countless hours with colleagues, clients, customers and strangers, while our loved ones spend their waking hours with... a maid, or a grandparent who couldn't run around and play catch with them? And how we make ourselves feel better by lying to our hearts that spending an hour a day with our child is enough? And that hour is usually at night when that child has been waiting and yearning for Mommy all day, only for them to get to be with a tired mother who is dozing off while she sings his favorite nursery rhymes to him... and by the time he wants to show off to her that he can sing his ABCs perfectly, she's already asleep.
Sad and ridiculous, but that's part of life.
Deja vu. I think I've actually written a blog entry about this before some time back, but I can't remember if I did. I've been feeling this way for so long.
I have a husband, a child, and yet I don't seem to be spending enough quality time with them.
Sad and ridiculous, but that's part of life. Sorry, I'm in repeat mode.
Now my mom has been feeling unwell recently and the doctor has suspected that she had a transient stroke, so today we brought her for an MRI scan appointment at a nice private hospital. People who know what I have been through at another hospital will know why I said this. So yes, she had her scan, and the results will be out tomorrow. I am extremely worried for her, and I pray that there is nothing seriously wrong and that she will be ok. God, I love my mother so much. I only have one parent now, it's a feeling I can't explain.
After my dad's demise, I truly appreciate the people and things around me more. I began to love more, if that is really possible (I don't really know how to measure love, I don't love a little or love a lot...I just love). I began to appreciate LIFE more. Without life there is no love, and without love, there's not much to live for. My late father had so much love for us all; it was upon that basis of love that he worked hard for his family and for us to have what we have and be who are now.
My mind, it's currently a whirlwind of thoughts and uptight emotions.
Like a rose so delicate; she has to stand upright and display her thorns for protection. She sometimes feels like wilting, but as long as the sun still shines and the rain still pours, she still smiles at this world and hangs on strong to her roots.
She is me...and she is crazy.
I've been wanting to blog about a HELLA lotta things, but of course I have been too busy with something we all love to have but hate to do - Work.
My one-month vacation is over and I am back to join Singapore's workforce, contributing to our growing economy and the economy of my own home. I have to work for 6 days now instead of 5, I no longer have a 'lunch hour' because my lunchtime is definitely much less than an hour. They had me transferred to another office which is a FREAKING LONG WAY from home because they somehow needed a staff urgently. I am pissed! I admit, I have been thinking of letting this job go but at the same time this happens to be my highest-paying job to date, and my husband, who is working in the same industry, says it would be good if I could have this job to kick-start a new career.
Men. There are some things they simply DON'T understand. Like how a mother wants to spend more time with her son and how the son wants the mother to be around most times. Isn't it SAD that we have to spend countless hours with colleagues, clients, customers and strangers, while our loved ones spend their waking hours with... a maid, or a grandparent who couldn't run around and play catch with them? And how we make ourselves feel better by lying to our hearts that spending an hour a day with our child is enough? And that hour is usually at night when that child has been waiting and yearning for Mommy all day, only for them to get to be with a tired mother who is dozing off while she sings his favorite nursery rhymes to him... and by the time he wants to show off to her that he can sing his ABCs perfectly, she's already asleep.
Sad and ridiculous, but that's part of life.
Deja vu. I think I've actually written a blog entry about this before some time back, but I can't remember if I did. I've been feeling this way for so long.
I have a husband, a child, and yet I don't seem to be spending enough quality time with them.
Sad and ridiculous, but that's part of life. Sorry, I'm in repeat mode.
Now my mom has been feeling unwell recently and the doctor has suspected that she had a transient stroke, so today we brought her for an MRI scan appointment at a nice private hospital. People who know what I have been through at another hospital will know why I said this. So yes, she had her scan, and the results will be out tomorrow. I am extremely worried for her, and I pray that there is nothing seriously wrong and that she will be ok. God, I love my mother so much. I only have one parent now, it's a feeling I can't explain.
After my dad's demise, I truly appreciate the people and things around me more. I began to love more, if that is really possible (I don't really know how to measure love, I don't love a little or love a lot...I just love). I began to appreciate LIFE more. Without life there is no love, and without love, there's not much to live for. My late father had so much love for us all; it was upon that basis of love that he worked hard for his family and for us to have what we have and be who are now.
My mind, it's currently a whirlwind of thoughts and uptight emotions.
Like a rose so delicate; she has to stand upright and display her thorns for protection. She sometimes feels like wilting, but as long as the sun still shines and the rain still pours, she still smiles at this world and hangs on strong to her roots.
She is me...and she is crazy.
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