it's christmas eve

And all the more I realise that time keeps on passing by with me in the shadows. Once again, I remind myself that I am merely a tiny speck of dirt. Always too small to make a difference to anyone's life. Especially yours.

I used to think that people will begin to remember and love me only after I die. But I was wrong. Because I now know that even after my death, noone will care so much as to visit my grave every year and shed a tear or two. It will be as if a gust of wind just brushed past their cheeks...your cheeks...and all I'll be is a distant memory that fades over time. I used to think that maybe, after I'm gone, you would miss me and love me. But now I realise that it was stupid of me to think that way. If I don't mean anything to you now, the hell I will mean anything to you when my body is buried deep under the ground, rotting, lifeless.

I'm grateful I've found someone to love - you. But with that love comes an unbearable amount of pain that nothing, not even time, can erase.

It's Christmas eve...and only you can take this loneliness away from me. But you won't, and that's why I'm drowning myself in tears. Just like every other night. Someday, this will all end. But when?