hell

Stupid. Pathetic. Loser. Stupid. Pathetic. Loser. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. These are the words that keep running inside my mind, words that I keep saying to myself. I don't care what anyone thinks about me anymore; all I know is that I am not good enough for myself. Contrary to what some people say, I do NOT enjoy being negative. Who does? Who gets a kick from being sad & depressed? If there's anyone who say they do, they're lying, they're not telling the truth. They have no choice but to say they enjoy it because they don't want to be seen as stupid, pathetic and a loser. Hell. I've received a few e-mails from people who are saying that I write negative stuff here all the time & that I should be grateful instead of being a whiny lil bitch...etc etc. Whoa, like I care. So what if I whine. This is my blog. My channel to let out whatever angst & crappy thoughts and feelings I have inside. Because in real life, I have to be 'perfect'. Nice. But whatever fucking thing I do, something will always go wrong somewhere. And I am tired of it. So I can be a lil bitch, a huge bitch, whatever. Because life screws the hell outta me, so much that it's beginning to feel like hell already. Do I believe in hell? Good question, no answer. In the end, it won't matter...will it?